Spasms of free thought

"It's the place where something's happening...though you may or may not be willing to watch it."

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

mini script 3


This is the 3rd mini-script in a series that I submitted for the Voice-Over competition back in 2007.
It's short and sweet.


Voice-Over Idol script #4

For Anime Evolution 2007

“I’ll be taking that as a sign of Yes…?”
(An original Hagaren no Renkijutsu (Fullmetal Alchemist) script)

(The title should say it all, shouldn’t it?)

Ed: (sitting in front of Winry’s door, with hands over his head and grimacing) This is just great…Terrific. Totally spectacular. And yet…this couldn’t be as bad as I think it is. Yeah, don’t panic. She may have just gasped and suddenly stormed into her room, but that wasn’t too bad. Besides, I don’t know how she feels yet. She’s still taking all of this in. I’m not even sure of how I should react! After all, I mean…it’s a gutsy move though. Be ready for impact then, Ed. (Takes a deep breath and slowly opens Winry’s door open) W-Winry?

Winry: (sitting slouched on the floor of the room, holding something in her hands and mumbling) M-m-my…precious…(Meanwhile Ed tip-toes inside. The floor creaks and a crying Winry finally reels back and pounces the stunned Ed) OHHHH ED ED EDDDD!!! I'LL ACCEPT IT! WHAT BETTER WAY TO ASK ME THAN TO GIVE ME AN AUTOMAIL-CRAFTED RING!!!! TWO GREAT PRESENTS IN ONE!!!!!


(An Original idea that just popped in my head. This little part here isn’t supposed to be read aloud by the way. Hence the itty bitty writing.)

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Mini-script # 2


This is part 2 of my series of original mini-scripts written for the 2007 Voice acting competition at the Anime Evolution Con. Since actually, I haven't done much voice-acting, but every once in a while I still think about it, though my main concern is in writing for screen, stage and digital media. 
Enjoy!

Voice-over idol script #1
For Anime Evolution 2007
"Dattebayo vs. Believe it!"
(An original script from one of Naruto's many inspirational speeches from the titular manga/anime series)
Original creator: Masashi Kishimoto
(Naruto lost his English to Japanese dictionary, but Sakura helps him to translate a word that we can all understand from the blonde ninja...)
Sakura: "Naruto, it's not that hard to say, you know. Just two simple words that even you would say. And besides, you had no problem saying that other catch phrase back in Japan, so what would be the trouble of saying the same here? You just say it at the end of your sentences, or whenever you finish a speech, like usual...it's not that difficult as you keep whining it is! Besides, if I can say "cha" you can say your catch phrase too! Now, let's hear it! Or else I won't spoon feed you Ramen!"
Naruto: "Nani? Aww, Sakuraaaa-chaan!" (Pouts and rolls eyes before crossing arms and taking a deep breath) Fine..."Datteba-Ow!" (Gets smacked upside the head by Sakura) "Oi...do I have to say it? It totally doesn't sound like meee!! Besides I'll still be liked if I say it in Japanese than English!" (Gets death glared by Sakura and is about to get pummeled) "Uh...Alright, alright! Believe it, believe it, believe it!!! I'm totally caving in with my new catch phrase, believe it!!!"
(This is an original script created by the likes of a very kooky girl. I have no means to offend anyone, not Viz media, not Maile Flanagan, not Kate Higgins, not anyone who is involved with the English production of Naruto. I just feel that Naruto's English catch phrase needs to be noted on because it has its own quirkiness to it, that's all. This isn't to be read outloud.)


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Mini-script 1


This is an excerpt of the scripts I had submitted as a part of a Convention I had volunteered in 2007, Anime Evolution. The Panel was part of a voice-acting competition and though I didn't won, I still recall being praised most likely for effort.

And again, contextually it's to show the versatility of my writing. Enjoy!

Voice-Over idol script # 6

For Anime Evolution 2007

“The shrinking of the ditzy teenager”

Scriptwriter: Yasmine


Duck surfer boy: (he’s standing on the roof of a building, watching a girl walking on the beach) “Like, Hooo noooo! We are sooo not O-V-E-R, Julie! That’s like, mean to leave out like this, man! Here’s, like, a taste, of my super weirdo-shrinking ray, dude! Feel the BIG KAHUNAAA!!!!”

Rich girl: Ahh! (she gets hit by the ray) Like, like, oww! I, like, got, hit by a strange dart-like thingy on my like, neck…(gasps as she shrinks and voice heightens) What’s, like, happening! My voice! Something’s like, wrong with, like, my voice!! NUOOOO!!!


In that “super quick voice at the end of the medical commercial” voice: (And that’s the story of the shrunken rich girl. This has no reference to the likes of Paris Hilton, Nicole Richie and any other rich tabloid girl in the likes of Hollywood. This is just in fact wild, wild wild satire brought you by a crazy girl. Ask your parents or shrink permission before parodying such blatant celebrities.)

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A Valentine's day drabble (belated ironically, by a month and a couple of years)

(Masterpost Here)

A Letter of Love Lost

A flash fiction by Suzanne Helen James

Published in 2008-2009

Estherton, In the Lord’s Nation of Alfpheinstein,

February 14th, 1783

To the Lord Julian Theophanes Smithers of the house of Aldergades,

I am tired. I could honestly say that I have tried. It’s been hell, but God knows I’ve tried. What am I tired of? Your negativity? Your general disregard? Or perhaps I’m just tired of you. Isn’t this what you wanted, though? You were probably expecting me to say something, then it should give you reason to flip it around and make you look like the better of us. Though in truth, you are no better than me and I am no better than you. Our life experiences differ greatly and our visions of the world we live are even farther apart. However, there was a time when things had been different. Vastly different. Amicable, even. False promises were made, but they were said and done. With the promise of someday soon. Someday soon you would do this. Someday soon I would too.

But with the heat of summer and the general feel of light and carelessness, I suppose we had been too caught up to realize the foolishness of it all.

After all, this is you, I’m talking about. In every other circumstance, you and I are complete strangers. You only” love” me on your own time. People would never guess that we actually talk to each other; after all, I am but a insignificant housekeeper and you, the one and only owner of only acres of this rich, dirty soil…Oh Julian, you false and suffering Julian. If you only acknowledged the depth of my feelings. You know, though, I know you do. That’s the sad thing. You openly shut yourself away and after all that’s been said, after all that’s been done, all our efforts…You always act as if nothing happened. In your heart, though, you cannot deny me. You cannot deny your passion for me. I wish I could make you see it. I would rip out those damned and beautiful eyes of yours if it meant you seeing the truth. I wish you would expose yourself to the world without the monstrous ego you carry around with you. It devours you whole and you become someone else. Oh yes, you’ve heard all of it before; you have been scolded by your other women for the same reasons. But this is me you’re talking to. And through these last 3 years we’ve been around each other, I think you have learned to know me more than enough; especially this summer, where I think I might’ve loved you for the last time.

But I suppose that I have had enough. I surrender. You win. I lose.

You no longer want me around, so I will depart. I have enlisted a new applicant and my replacement is quite dutiful. If you were to seduce her into your chambers as you once did me, then I expect that she will be much more willing to service all of you than me. Let us not forget that you are a man of awfully great pride. You do not look for one who equals you, but rather submits to you. She will be quite good for your tastes then.


…My carriage will take me towards the border and through Friedenland, where hopefully, I shall get across free land without much interrpution. In the meantime, I do hope you are well and that my true message will get across into your tiny, pea-sized, useless and erratic membrane of yours you called a brain.

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Nadia's nine months (Original story set in the Gaiaverse)

Masterpost Here


Nadia’s nine months of hell (uncensored and just thought up)
Rating: T
Genre: comedy, drama
Chapter 1- the first month of the beginning of the end

She had laid there for who knows how long now. Hours, perhaps? Or long, impossible minutes? Whichever the case, she had no choice to admit defeat to this half of this mortality phase of hers.
Damn that Hera.
She was pregnant. (After 28 long years of hot and sweaty sex, villain-ridding and world saving, you’d think it would’ve happened earlier in her immortally mortal life!) Of all times to get a small egg to grow inside you and endure the next nine torturous months when your belly would gradually, slowly, agonizingly expand to the size of a huge exercise ball and then the harsher undertaking of actually getting into the oh-so distressful and painfully hard experience of getting into “labour” and actually screaming and crying your way into giving birth to a child or two even…
Oh how sweet it was, she thought sarcastically. She just happened to be one of those rare and uncommon women who did NOT want a baby to raise and nurture in their world…which was Nadia’s case exactly.
She already was dead busy with her current “kid” of now 16, Takai which she “lovingly” called “stupid brat”. (which he was, in a naïve and utterly idiotically childish way of being.) And of course there was Tatsume. Koudoro was his first name but she had grown to never call him by his first name over the years they had spent together and he surprisingly didn’t mind. Either he was scared to death to ask why or he simply ignored the topic for his mushy and gaga reason he claimed was “love”. Love to Nadia meant all the sizzling and steamy “love”-making nights they had made together and that was it.
All of this, which was just purely inexplicable and truly inconceivable to her, had resulted to this? (The unfathomable and mysterious reason of this happening now and to her of all people is still a disturbing mystery and has yet to be resolved)
She growled and glared down at her stomach.
Was this her imagination or was she seeing bumps already?
I’m going to kill him,” she promised to herself.
Kill who?” said a smiling blonde from behind her. Just as he was about to step inside the bathtub from behind, a gun was quickly by his face. Nonetheless the man chuckled anyway and still sat down.
Morning to you too, Nadia” he greeted, handgun finally out of sight and his hands now massaging her shoulders. She growled for a minute before suddenly, slowly, miraculously calming down and even purring a little to the man’s soft muscle manipulations. He blinked in surprise as she moved her back closer to his chest.
Mmmhmm…keep going,” she asked gently. The blonde just nodded. This was getting peculiar to him; his lover actually reacting positively to his advances? Then again these days, he had seen the oddest of things going on surrounding the usually calm and sombrely cold Nadia. Yesterday to say the least he had seen her do the most abnormal and “human” thing of all…
And no, she still didn’t smile.
(Flashback)
Koudoro yawned and walked up to the kitchen when he bumped into a moping and fidgeting green-haired adolescent boy. He smiled at him.
Hey Takai!” he greeted, patting his shoulder,”Isn’t it a wonderful morning we’re having here today?”
The boy, who was looking at the ground, whimpered and looked up to the taller man. “Kou-chan…someone…someone…”he whimpered again and started weeping throatily, tears flowing down his emerald eyes.
Hey…what’s wrong, kid? Someone got your Onizuma plushie again?” he asked tenderly. The boy shook his head in negation. And bit his lip in gloom. What had just happened was just so unbearable to him that all he could do was cry about it for his discovery was that heartbreaking for him.
It…It…”he replied shakily. Finally losing all control, Takai broke down and clutched desperately the blonde’s balled fists with his own small hands, fell on his knees and sobbed his heart out.
SOMEONE STOLE AND DEVOURED ALL MY BANANA PUDDINGS, MY BANANA POPSICLES AND MY BANANA COLADAS!!!!AAHAAAAAAHAAAAWAAAAAAH!!!!” he wailed, slumping his head down in self-lament. Koudoro stood silent, his eyes wide in false surprise. He patted absent-mindedly the boy’s head in hopeful support that this food disappearance mystery would be solved, although…
This wasn’t new. FAR from new for Takai always had something stolen every week because he was so reckless about leaving his “secret junk stash” unearthed from its hiding place after he had eaten from it. Though this time Takai hadn’t gone to his stash once this week…and Koudoro had helped him place it this time around and had always gone out at night to check if anything would be indeed missing from there.
The blonde kneeled down to the boy’s height and hugged him. ”Okay, Okay, let it out, boy, let it out…we’ll find our banananapper, alright?”
Yeah…we sure as hell will,” he replied, sniffing away his tears and glaring at the oncoming figure from behind them. Nadia, just arriving on the scene, gawked in bewilderment at the two, but with a plastic spoon in her mouth, she couldn’t say anything, so she just kneeled down behind Koudoro, patted Takai’s head, shook her head at him and went on her way.
Takai narrowed his eyes and jumped out of Koudoro’s grip to point his finger at her leaving body.
He growled,”….YOU did it, didn’t you Na-chan? You stole all of my banana puddings, my banana popsicles AND my banana coladas!!!!!!!”
The night-haired woman stopped in her tracks and finally took the plastic spoon out of her mouth. Koudoro gulped. This wasn’t going to be good. The boy had sealed his own fate...Again. Nadia turned around to give her trademark stone-cold death glare at Takai, who for the first time in his 16 years of child life wasn’t scared of that…or was now successfully masking out that detail anyway for he was still very, very, very much scared of it.
Am I gonna die again? He thought nervously. He shivered and stayed in place. Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me, pretty please don’t kill me, he begged, whimpering again.
Nadia just…stared at him, expectantly. When not having heard anything else from the teen boy, she walked down to him and pointed her wet spoon at his forehead. Takai shut his eyes and was on his knees again, waiting deadly execution…
Baka,” she simply said, smacking him behind the head. She glanced at Koudoro, looked down at her sweets cup, took another mouthful and returned the spoon to her mouth before waving goodbye reflexively and leaving on her way towards the bedrooms.
Mouth in a shocked frown and eyes dot-sized, Takai just twitched an eyebrow and collapsed to the ground. ”oww…oww…oww…”he mumbled…even though he had received no pain. None whatsoever.
The stunned blonde just laughed to cut the awfully awkward after silence. “Something must be amiss with her after all.” He chuckled simply, smiling like nothing ever was but trying inwardly to desperately process what had just occurred.
(End flashback)
Koudoro took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He was still trying to understand why Nadia suddenly was going through these odd habits lately…Always found with a fruit-flavoured pudding in mouth (her apparent favourites are strawberry, apple and…banana?!), reducing her incurable and infamously fatal gunshot attacks and death-glares to light head smacks and short blank glances and most surprising of all… she now spends the day out on their patio and laying frontally naked to the sky in only her bathrobe and talking for hours on end with her sister Miharu on the phone!(though the only things Nadia actually said in the conversations were muffled curses and hateful growls.)
Yes…something was definitely amiss with his lover these days. Why with her mood swings and sudden fruit cream pudding cravings, one would think she’d be…
He gasped in absolute shock and clamped his mouth to avoid waking her up for Nadia had fallen asleep in the bath again. (Another of her odd and new habits.) Koudoro poured up in happy, proud tears of joy at the sole realization.
He knew she was acting up for a reason. He glanced at Nadia’s stomach and poked it once then squealed happily and giggled like a giddy schoolgirl.
He couldn’t help it; he was going to possibly be a father for Pete’s sake!!!
I’m a…I’m a…I’m a mamamamamama…,” he whimpered blissfully and smeared off a fulfilled man’s tear from his cheek. He couldn’t help flooding down his happy sniffs and snivels, so he kept on crying(mutely) and held Nadia’s sleeping body in his arms and soon, rocked her back and forth and hummed a lullaby for the future baby and its beautiful mother-to be…who-truly-needs-some-sort-of-convincing-to-keep-the-child-and-not-let-the-poor-infant-wander-out-alone-in baby-adoption-land.
But…Nadia shouldn’t be…too big of a problem. He hoped.
By the gods, will I truly, madly, deeply be a father??? Such earthly bliss, bless the world!!!” at his question, Nadia stirred from her sleep. Koudoro sighed happily again and held his expectant (and now fully awakened) lover close to him and placing his chin on her head.
Tatsume…”she asked sharply, back to her old and cold self,” what were you-“but he cut her off and eagerly asked,
Nadia Motomiya, please answer this…are you…expecting?” he asked, tearfully. His heart and mind both wanted to hear a hopeful and happy and mirthful “yes, I will be a mother…and you will be a proud and happy father, Tatsume!”
But…reality came to bit him in the ass. Or shoot him…You get the idea, it just wasn’t nice to him.
When Koudoro had asked that, Nadia’s confirmed unmotherly rage grew over the edge. The now scared stiff blonde slowly, carefully backed away from his lover and would’ve been almost out of the bathtub…
If Takai hadn’t come in to pee. Nonetheless, Nadia did go nuts anyway and Koudoro made his escape and quickly ran for the door, still naked and wet as a newborn.
TATSUME-BAKAA!!!! COME BACK HERE AT ONCE!!!” she blared, jumping out of the bathroom as well and racing after him with long-range revolver in hand.
I’M SORRRYYYYY, I’M SORRY, I’M REALLY REALLY SORRRYYY!!!! OWW!” he yelled, wincing as her bullets attacked him. Takai, still doing his morning toilet, yawned and looked over at his “parents” playing cat and mouse all over the household.
He sighed and bent down to pull up his pants when he noticed a small aluminium wrapper from the garbage pail beside the bathtub. He rushed to it, wretched open the hatch and gasped.
Why of all people….
I KNEW IT!!!! NADIA DID EAT MY BANANA PUDDINGS, MY BANANA POPSICLES AND MY BANANA COLADAAAASSSSS!!!” he exclaimed.
He gulped as he heard her nearing gunshots. Though… right now isn’t a good time to confront her about it. He thought as he crept in the now empty bathtub and waited until the “terror” outside subsided.
And to say that was only the first day of the new month!

 

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"So does Kits think it can dance?" Pitch/Script


Once upon a time, when I was a young warthog...

No,just kidding. I was never a young warthog...

Although sometimes I eat like one. 

ANYWAY

I do recall that at some point, I was illegally young, about 16 or 17 and I had a dream. (Not THAT dream) I had a big dream of going to Toronto and become a Much music VJ. I had dreams of becoming a voice-over Actress. I had dreams of getting my name out there and becoming a household name. In that process, my ideas included paying homage to the Canadian version of the Reality competition show, "So you think you can dance"and having a smaller-scale version at my high school.

The idea was very ambitious and so was I, really. But unfortunately, I wasn't practical nor did I really think of the public relations aspect of the project. Thus, after months of brainstorming with my associate over theme songs and exchanging ideas and gathering a crew but having no structure with how to get the project really going, the whole thing fell slowly and silently apart. Sure, I gained friends and got some experience, but also quite frankly,I also felt like a big failure for the first time in my life. 

And to be honest, sometimes I still do. 

But then, I think of all the following projects and the lessons I'd gotten from that. And when I had an Internship in 2012, I eventually got to learn of all the things that the 17 year old ambitious-but-unrealistically-waiting-for-things-to-come-to-her me would've probably benefitted from. 

So in remembrance of what could've been, I've posted the original script to have kickstarted the project. 


« So those Kits think it can dance » Script

Host: (walking towards camera; or looking towards from the side) Okay...here's the deal. When you think Kits, what do you get? Great sports teams. (Someone throws a ball into the court; or they could be playing basketball) Cool students and faculty. (Two people wave hello to the camera, all perky-like) And frankly, our theater group just blows you away. (Jacky gets down on one knee and recites dramatically;«  To be or not to be » in front of a stage). But then...where are YOU, contemporary dancers? (points to the camera; from there I think we should use different angles on each sentence; this is center) YOU ballerinas?(from the left) YOU breakers? (from the right) Well, I know that YOU're just waiting in the wings. Unaware. Undiscovered. But...what if we gave YOU the chance to prove yourself? Would YOU have what it takes to fight your way into the spotlight? As a member of Kitsilano, Would YOU have the skills, the personality and the energy to convince our audiences of your talent? (a little dance and pose here)

Infact, do YOU have the flair to get through to our student body? Do YOU have what it takes to claim that spot in their hearts to become OUR favorite dancer? Do you even have the heart to go earn your way towards the chance of seeing the coming of Canada's first own « favorite dancer »?

(back to me, sitting on a throne; and once again pointing to the camera) So now I throw the challenge to all of YOU, eager, hungry dancers out there; do YOU think you can make your Kitsilano school proud? Can YOU rile us out of our seats? Make us cheer for YOU? But more importantly...


Does Kitsilano think it can dance?


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Sid and Mr. White!

Masterpost here

Sid and Mr. White

A short story by Yasmine Ekoka

For the Capilano Courier

Word Count: 750 (excluding title page)

This is the story of Sid. Now, Sid was a child that was so bad, not even the military could restrain him. It seemed like he had absolutely no empathy for others or any trace of heart...Until the day he met Abby Gonzales in the park and she literally punched some sense into him. The two would later befriend each other in a civil manner and even fall in love. Later on, as young adults, after dating for a while they'd move in together.

However, something happened one day when Sid met the new cat Abby brought home.

Mr. White, as Abby would call him, was a strange little creature, thin and pink, with a big forehead, bulging golden yellow eyeballs held under droopy half-lidded eyelids, twisted whiskers held together by a long bony fleshy neck and finally four stick-thin fragile legs, huddled around its owner's arms in her embrace. “I just kinda fell in love with the little guy..he looked so apathetic I just had to bring him home!” Abby said excitedly as she nudged Sid to get closer, but when he did...

The cat creaked its large head to look up at Sid...and then gazing up at him, it gave a slow, creepy smirk towards the boy, who raised an eyebrow at the sight and growled.

“What's wrong?” Asked Abby, who'd seen nothing out of the ordinary. “N-nothing”, Sid muttered in response, huffing a whiff of air as he stared down the cat, whose sleepy stare etched into the depths of Sid's mind.

...There's something FUCKING WRONG with that cat, Sid thought later that evening before bed.

Later on that week, when Sid was away from the house, Abby started decorating Mr. White's future room that would be modified according to his unique taste. She was so infatuated with the feline that she collected and decorated his room with a collection of blood, guts and bones displayed all over the room. However, what made this room truly stand out was the fact it must never have light; it must always be dimly-lit or completely dark. Abby claimed that this was because...

“Mr. White really thrives in the dark, cuz you know, its where his primal instincts come out best.”

When Sid returned home and saw this new “room”, he growled and rolled his eyes...because even though he had his own share of disturbing things he cherished, this was where Sid would have drawn the line.

Another time, when Abby and Sid were watching a movie, Mr. White had decided to interrupt their snuggling and lodged itself in-between the amorous pair. Abby giggled and welcomed the visitor, whereas Sid refused to budge, keeping his arm firmly placed around Abby's shoulder...until a flicker of Mr. White's tail smacked his face and the sudden blow pushed Sid to the ground.


In response, Abby berated the cat, groaning, “Look what you did, Mr. White! That's not how you act towards Sid!” A shocked Sid blinked then hissed as he felt something sting his cheek...which was bleeding.

“Come on now,” Abby chided as she tilted her head to the side. “What's that on your cheek? Go clean that up.” Sid blinked and raised an eyebrow before touching his cheek. “Go on,” She ordered again, “Leave the room and clean that up!” But Sid, not taking anyone's orders, rose up and retorted “Hey, I'm bleeding here and you seem to give more of a shit about that creepy pussy than me!” But Abby shrugged and turned away from Sid, who growled and lunged forward...only to then smack his face against an invisible force, blocking him from reaching Abby and Mr. White. “W-what the?” Sid asked as he then slammed his fist against the invisible wall, trying to reach his girlfriend who oddly enough couldn't hear him. “What the fuck?” Sid cried again as he punched the force field again and again.

Abby meanwhile, smiled down at a purring Mr. White nestled in her lap. “Aww, look what you did...”She said softly as she rubbed his large forehead, “You played way too rough with Sid and now he can't play with us.” The feline purred enthusiastically and rocked his head back and forth as it was being massaged. To Sid's shock, he watched as Abby's eyes started to glow as she kept on petting Mr. White, who turned his own glowing eyes to look at Sid...

Whose mouth was seething as he saw Mr. White's bright smug smirk grow on his face.







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My big brother's secret

Masterpost Here

My big brother's secret
(a.k.a. A Southwestern romance)

An updated dialogue-turned-script by Suzanne Helen James
For Ms. Maguire's Creative Writing 12
Kitsilano Secondary School


(Simeon is in his room, furiously writing something. The always curious Clarissa, his little sister, suddenly comes in the room to bother him, especially in his most crucial moments of concentration. This is one of them.)

Clarissa: “...What are ya doin', big brother Simeon? Ya seemed so con-cen-trated, I just had to let myself in.”

Simeon: “That's “concentrated”. And get out, I'm writin'. Could ya leave me alone this time? I'm really busy an' this is somethin' really important.”

Clarissa: “Hmm. 'Kay then. (She hasn't moved away, but instead has moved to his desk side. Simeon moves his elbow down to block her view) Can I see what you're writin', big brother Simeon?”

Simeon: “No. You ain't gonna be seein' it anytime soon either, so get on' leavin'.”

Clarissa: “Alright then, I'm leavin'...But why can't I read it, big brother?? Why can't I?”

Simeon: “It ain't ready yet.”

Clarissa: “What do you mean, 'it ain't ready yet'?”

Simeon: “It's like I said...it ain't ready yet!”

Clarissa: “Are you writin' somethin' for somebody?”

(Silence for a little bit. Simeon doesn't give an immediate answer and doesn't look at Clarissa, but quickly retorts...)

Simeon: “...Maybe...anyways, get on goin', or else I'm gon' get you.”

Clarissa: “...Kay then. (Still hasn't moved.) Who're you writing it to?”

Simeon: “Not tellin' you a dang word.”

Clarissa: “Aww, come onnnn! Who you writin' it to, Big brother Simeonnnn??”

Simeon: “Get it through your lil wormin' head, I ain't tellin' you none o' it, 'kay? Now get on leavin' me 'fore I give one to ya!”

Clarissa: “Well, alright then. But I'm not stoppin' till you tell me who you're writin' to!”

Simeon: “Oh really? Well you can go 'head and try all ya like, but you ain't gettin' a thing from me.”

Clarissa: “Really? You ain't gon' tell me a dang thing, Big brother Simeon?”

Simeon: “Yeah. Not a god-given dang thing. Now vamoose an' get 'fore I do somethin' mean and big to ya!”

Clarissa: “...Awww! I'm goin then...but first! Can't I even give a hootin' eye's guess who you gonna write it to, Big brother?”

Simeon: “...Again ya lil' maggot; you can try but you ain't gon' guess it!”

Clarissa: “Really? Ya sure o' that, Big brother Simeon? Not even if I try with all my might?”

Simeon: “...Yeah,yeah, yeah. Now get on' leavin now 'fore I really get angry and I'm forced to gettin' you outta 'ere by force, in other words, my big whoopin' fists!!!”

Clarissa: “...Welll...I'ma gonna try my luck anyway! Is sheeeeee....Is she someone I'd know from school?”

(...Exasperated and slightly miffed that Clarissa doesn't react to his threats as easily as she used to, Simeon rolls his eyes and turns around to ignore Clarissa. But like always, that's hard to do. Finally, he plays along, but still slips in a few more in to see if it'll do something to get her out faster.)

Simeon: “...She ain't in your grade, kay. Told ya you couldn't get it. Now get on leavin' before Big brother gets mad. And trust me; you've seen Big brother gettin' mad and you don't want it happenin' to you, now do ya?”

Clarissa: “Aww, grass nuggets! Lemme try again 'fore I leave though, 'kay? Issss sheeee...somebody from any other school that I'd know?”

Simeon: “...Goddamit, ya annoyin' little nut! She just ain't in your grade, 'kay? She's in mine! Mine, mine, mine! Now just beat it, ya lil varmint! Or else you're really gettin' me mad! You hearin' me? I'm about to get Hulkin' mean!”

The mischievious Clarissa is still next to Simeon's side, even with the threats. She continues on with her guesses, to Simeon's dismay.)

Clarissa:“...Hmmm! Big brother Simeon's swearin' again! (Pause.) Heyy! Is itttttt...Marsha Wilkins, that girl who's always lipsin' an' all that? Rumor was, recently she got 'er tooth chipped off from her daddy. Says she been kissin' them boys too much and got some spankin' and soap water for punishment...Mamaw ain't gon' do that to me when I'm outtin', is she? 'Sides, the only kissin' in the mouth I've done is Daddy...and I can't get soaped for that, can I? It's Daddy, no matter how weird it is!”


Simeon:(sighs)...First off, ain't Marsha Wilkins that I'm writin' to. Secondly, no, Mamaw ain't gon' do that to ya. Except, maybe...the soap water thing. And thirdly...would ya mind gettin' on goin outta my room, ya lil bugger? You are seriously close to gettin' big brother mad!”

Clarissa: “.....Kay then...though I'ma give one more try, just to pry! Is itttttt....is it that Becky Donahue girl, the one's who's always hittin' people on the face? That girl always has a laugh that just reminds me of a big, bloatin' ass...with braces. You ever see that, big brother? An ass with braces? That's what I think Becky is. Or she might've been in another life...To think, God Almighty once made 'er into an ass with-”

Simeon: “No I haven't, ya lil rugnut! And no, Becky Donahue ain't the one I'm writin' to! Now get on and move outta my room 'fore I put one on ya like I ain't put on ya before!”

(As Simeon's anger escalates with the recurring list of threats, the little sister giggles and still stays put. Okay...maybe she hops back a foot, but otherwise she's still in the room and feels she's getting closer to finding the answer.)

Clarissa: “Hmm, hmm, hmm! Big brother's gettin' angry! (Pause.) Hey! I just thought o' somethin'! Don't folks say that girls hit ya when they like you? And Becky Donahue's been hittin' on you a lot lately, hasn't she? She always says that she wanna see ya after school, an big brother always goes with 'er! So how many times would Becky hit ya then?”

Simeon: “...”

Clarissa: “...Big brother ain't answerin' that question...”

Simeon: “...That's cause big brother don't wanna answer that question! Now get leavin' 'fore I stick one big one on ya like I ain't ever stick one on ya before! Go on, get!”

Clarissa: “Wait, wait, wait! Don't Becky Donahue have a twin sister? Ain't she the pretty, nicer one o' the two? Infact, she always gettin' ya lunch after Becky takes 'em away from you! And she always pats your back after Beck hits ya all the time!”

(....This time the silence has Simeon turning away from Clarissa, hands clasped behind his head. Hopping another step back, the little sister gets a bit closer to the door. She knows that she's practically figured it out. Preparing for her big finish, Clarissa steps backwords one more time.)

Simeon: “...”

Clarissa: “...Hey, Big brother ain't answerin' that question neither! But...I thought I was right 'bout Becky Donahue's sister! Ain't she the pretty one o' the two Donahue twins, with blonde hair an' shiny white teeth? I can tell that she's an actual girl! Ain't that her? I wanna know, I wanna knowwww! Big brother Simeon ain't answerin' that question and I wanna know!!!”

(Getting even closer towards losing the edge of reason, Simeon takes a deep breath and resists. He drops his head on the desk and lets out a defeated groan before grumbling a faint muffle of words under his breath. Then he finally raises his head and barely utters...)

Simeon: “...Yeah.”

Clarissa: “...Huh? Whazzat? Big brother Simeon said sumthin' but I couldn't hear it.”

Simeon: “...Yeah, Becky Donahue's got a sister. And er name's Dee-Dee. Now get on' outta here, ya lil snake. Ya got what you wanted, now make away an' get.”

Clarissa: “That's her? The one with the blonde hair?”

Simeon: “Yeah.”

Clarissa: “The one with the shiniest teeth in the whole wide world?”

Simeon: “...yeah.”

Clarissa: “The one who runs with ya to the nurse's office after you end up cryin' when Becky hits you?”

Simeon: “...Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now...can ya just get on with yur life an move on away from mine? I'm tryin' to write 'ere!”

Clarissa: “...So, was I right? Is big brother Simeon's writin' to Becky Donahue's twin sister, Dee-dee Donahue?”

Simeon: “....Get goin', I said.”

Clarissa: “So it is her, right, Big brother Simeon?”

Simeon: (Getting ready to attack Clarissa now, having been driven to his limits.) “...Yeah...now get the heck outta my room 'fore I deliver a whoopin' on ya like I ain't never whooped one on ya, you little son of a flick...Infact...I'ma gonna give one to ya right now, ya little monster! Come 'ere!”

(First giggling, then bursting in laughter, the triumphant Clarissa jumps away just in time to miss her brother's leaping towards her...blowing a rasberry as she slams the door in his face, she winces slightly as she hears the 'THUMP' of his face hitting the wood of his doorframe. Smirking to herself, Clarissa then skipps away while singing to herself...)

Clarissa: “Si-me-on-and-Dee-Dee sitt-in-on-a-tree...k-i-s-s-ing...first comes love...then comes marriage...and before you know it, whoops! Here's one-a comin' in a baby carriage!!” (Before leaving the stage, she yells to Mamaw)

Clarissa: “...Mamaw, Big brother Simeon's got a crush on Dee-Dee Donahue! If he kisses 'er like crazy, can you wash his mouth with soap an' chip his all o' his tooth off like Marsha's Daddy did her? An' he kept on threatenin' me! Can I get Daddy to put 'im in prison for attempted homicidin' on my person like for that other guy?! I want 'im to stay in jail till he's a hundred an' five, cuz I think he's really, really...dan-ger...(struggles with the word) dan-ge-rous! And toppin' it all off, he's still swearin' like...(she stops to think of something really good.) Big brother's still swearin' like a mad cowboy on shots o' gin! Can you spank im? Pleeeease??? He's really, really bad, Mamaw!!!”

Simeon: (on the floor, groaning...then yells) “Mamaw, don't you believe her! I am your one, good, god-given and educated nobel son! I demand that you take my side and not take an inch of what that...little creature there is tryin' to say bout me! I can honestly that She's the evil one! She could be growin' up a compulsive liar for all we know! Would you believe her drabbles over my honesty and good will? I think not! I suggest we take care of her before she's gettin' too hard to handle; the sooner, the better!”

Mom: (Doesn't come on stage, but we hear her voice loud and clear in the background.) “...For heavens's sake Clarissa, not again! How many times do I gotta tell you...we ain't puttin' your brother in jail, we ain't gon' chip his teeth off, an' he ain't dangerous! But! If I do hear anythin'...and I mean anythin', of a near damning expletive outta either, 'specially you, young Simeon...you're gon' be wishin' and prayin' that you HAD been in a prison cell after I'd be done with ya!! Now is that clear?”

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The King of Everything

Masterpost Here

I'm the one, the only, the King…of Everything!”
A dialogue by Suzanne Helen James

Characters:
.King Cavalan Ernesto Edmond Duveau, Heir of Trudgar
.His assistant, Dymus the squire
.His honorable knight, Sir Armani Prada Helfer



(Scene opens with the king Cavalan and his squire, Dymus, on a horse. Cavalan is wearing a large, shiny new crown and he's holding a nice, large golden staff.)


Cavalan- “Well, goodie! I, the new King of Everything, shall now begin my reign!”

Dymus- “ALL HAIL HIS HIGHNESS! HE SHALL NOW BEGIN HIS REIGN!”

Cavalan- “All the peasants in the land shall now bow down before me!”

Dymus- “Ya hear that, all ya peasants in the land? You’ll be bowin’ down before your king!”

Cavalan- “And all you nobles, you other kings and you other queens…you will all bow down and proud to me, your new King…of Everything!”

Dymus- “That’s right, nobles! You too, will bow down and proud to your King..of everything! Bow down and proud!”

Cavalan- “…Ooh! Your new King has just found other beings to reign over! He is of course, the one…the only…the King Cavalan Edmond Duveau…of Trudgar!”

Dymus- “Ya hear that? That’s right! You mindless, insignificant and miniscule other beings! Rejoice for your newfound freedom within the reign of his highness, the one, the only the King Cavalan Edmond Duveau…of Trudgar!”

Cavalan- “Why Dymus! What beautiful and tyrannic speech-making! Your newly appointed King Cavalan is quite pleased! He is so happy with your performance…that he shall give you a reward! Dymus, lend your king your brain, for he would like to think of a reward for you!”

Dymus- “Well…all the reward I need is your words o blessings an’ nothin’ more! Nothin’ more shall be said now…though what’s this? Your new king is bein’ approached! Whoever ya are…would ya halt for the new King…of Everything!”

Cavalan- “Ahhh…yes, how can I forget? Little ants…little bugs…little grass…and little trees! Your newly appointed King of Everything has now stopped his horse trek! Swift execution shall be dealt to you if you fail to comply to my demands! And as your new King Cavalan Edmond Duveau of Trudgar, I demand utter obedience! Is that clear, my dear trees, my dear grass, my dear bugs and my dear ants?”

Dymus- “Ya hear that, ya fugly trees? Ya hear that, ya bucklin ants? Ya movin bugs? Your newly appointed King shall kill ya swiftly if you ain't obeyin' him!”
(The intruder in question is actually Cavalan's most loyal knight, Sir Armani Prada Helfer. Unfortunately, he brings to the gloating King bad news...he'll try to, anyway.)


Armani- “My lord!”

Cavalan- “Oh Dymus, look! My knight in shining armor, my beloved Armani, has come to watch me reign! Look, look, look! See how I have the trees, the bugs, the ants and even the grass at my feet and under my rule? Do tell him, Dymus! I know he wants to know…don’t you, Armani dear?”

Armani- “Ah! But sir…”

Cavalan- “Ah, ah, ahh! My Armani is now adressing his new King, who now has control over everything! And as ruler of everything, his highness requests that Armani close his pretty mouth and watch Dymus as he telsl you how I am the King of Everything!”

Armani- “But, sir…that’s just it.”

Cavalan- “Hmm…What’s this? I hear distress in Armani’s voice! Is this puberty rearing its ugly, pubic head or…perhaps, is it a midlife crisis? Either way, I, your King Cavalan, shall destroy it! After all, I am King of, well…Everything! I am master of every single thing I survey, am I not? Yes, I am.”

Armani- “…Well, your highness…this title of “King of Everything” isn’t…it isn’t exactly true anymore.”

Cavalan- “GASP! Dymus, your King gasps! Capture my escaping breaths! H-How can your beloved King Cavalan Edmond Ernesto Duveau…be no longer your King of Everything?”

Armani- “Well…first off, you reign over this land yes?”

Cavalan- “Why, Armani! Of course I reign over this land, for I reign over everything!”

Armani- “Well...do you reign over the Ocean?”

Cavalan- “GASP! Why, Armani! Of course your king reigns over the Ocean! Do you hear me, Ocean? Your King, Cavalan Ernesto Edmond Duveau of Trudgar rules you!”

Dymus- “You hear that blue, blubbering Ocean? Your new king rules you! His highness
Cavalan Ernesto Edmond Duveau rules over ya!”


Armani- (sigh) “I'm sorry, but your highness doesn't reign over the Ocean.”

Cavalan- “W-what? Oh no! Dymus, your King gasps again! Catch his breath! Dymus, tell me that Armani dearest is lying to me! But I am your King of Everything! How can everything NOT be the Ocean too?”

Armani- “...Well, everything here, sir. That's what I meant to tell you. I was going to say that you, your highness Cavalan Ernesto Edmond Duveau, heir of Trudgar, have sole property...over this land...which...isn't actually everything.”

Dymus- “Why how can you say that, knight Armani? We all are property of the King! Over land, air and sea of the world!”

Armani- “Oh but Dymus, you knew this too! Don't deny it now of all times!”

(As the clueless King is shocked at the new development, Dymus is spared for now. Heck, Cavalan doesn't seem to realize that his own righthand man knows something he doesn't. Either way...What does this mean?)


Cavalan- “W-w-what? Ohhh no! Your King gasps! Again! How can it be that...Your...king...is...NOT...the king...of...everything?”

Armani- “I'm afraid not, your highness. You are not the king of the Ocean, which is infinite...nor are you the King of our neighbours the Grahams, who are invading as of this moment...and whether you'd like to believe it or not, you are NOT the king of the peasants; for you no longer have any peasants to rule over. They were either slaughtered or they ran off when your family had taken over the land.”

Cavalan- “...Oh...your king blinks. Dymus?”

Dymus- “Yes, your highness?”

Cavalan- “Do I rule over the lakes on this island?”

Dymus- “Yes...you rule over the lakes on this island, your majesty.”

Cavalan- “Dymus, do I rule over the deserted and pillaged villages that remain?”

Dymus- “Yes, your majesty rules over the deserted and pillaged villages that remain...on this island.”

Cavalan- “...Dymus...the Grahams are on my land now, aren't they?”

Dymus- “...I do say that I believe so, sir.”

Cavalan- “Then goodie gumdrops! Let the good times spread! Let all the trees hear it! Let all the birds hear it! Let all the maimed, bleeding, dying villagers hear it!

Armani- “But, your highness...”

Cavalan- “You know what? Let the bloodthirsty, guileless, ravaging Grahams who have set foot on this island, they who have only thoughts of killing in mind...let THEM hear it! After all, they cannot invade my territory, for I rule over everything!”

Dymus- “At your request, your highness!”

Armani- “Oh my goodness! I should get flee- I mean, hurrying! I will task myself of spreading the good news! Goodbye, your majesty! I now take my leave! (under breath) Before I get killed...off to greener pastures..and safety.”
Cavalan- “Oh, oh, ohhh! Look at that! My knight serves me well! Run, run, run, My beloved Armani! Tell the good news! Oh go and tell them, tell them, tell them! Tell them that I, your new King Cavalan Ernesto Edmond Duveau, heir of Trudgar, rules you all! He rules over the trees! He rules over the birds! He rules over you bones on the ground! He...Ow! Your king...he bleeds! He gasps...”

(As the last scene comes to a close, Cavalan is stabbed and falls on the ground without much of another word. A shocked Dymus watches from nearby as he is also stabbed without warning...but not without parting words.)


Dymus- “Awright, then! All of ya, listen to his highness! He is now your appointed ruler, heir of Trudgar and King o the bloody free world! His royal monarch Cavalan Ernesto Edmond Duveau rules over the trees! He rules over the birds! He rules over the arrows flyin' in the air! He rules over the soil, the grass...(he gets hit by an arrow) H-ha! Oh no, your highness falls! He falls on his earth! Your highness will forever rule over the blood...the arrow piercing his heart...and yeah...he rules over ya too, who's stabbin' me! You...hear...me? Your...highness...is...the new...King...of...Everythin...!”

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My, my, my

(Masterpost Here)

My, my, my

Rating: T


Genre: comedy, mystery

Passion sighed and laid on the bed, fiddling her fingers together. When would he be done in there? It wasn’t that hard to put on, was it?

“Dorian!” she called to her boyfriend in the bathroom.” Are you done in there yet? I really want to see you in what you look under that!” she turned to the bathroom and waited a response.


“W-well be patient! It’s my first time trying things like this on, you know! I’m not used to these! Plus patience is an essential part of a relationship…” He replied in a nervous manner.

The former seal of Ragnarok sighed again and rolled her eyes. She knew she all eternity to wait for him, but this was ridiculous! ”Sorry for rushing you!” she apologized reluctantly, turning her body back to her front and staring aimlessly at the ceiling.

“…. How tight is it, Dorian?” Passion asked curiously, a finger to her lips.

Silence. Dorian was too red to answer. H-h-h-how t-t-tight is it? What kind of question is that to ask me when I’m in the middle of trying to fit it? The god of death tried to answer his girlfriend, but couldn’t get a muffle, a mumble or anything out of him. So he decided to keep it quiet until he came up with a decent answer.

When not having heard anything, Passion giggled silently to herself and covered her mouth to hide the small laughter. Maybe what she bought for tonight was too much for him after all. Dorian was often a loose man. He just wouldn’t be able to handle tightness.

No matter what the occasion.

“Dorian?” she asked again, turning over to her front and facing towards the bathroom door, ”Can you at least fasten it around so that it looks…okay?”

“Possibly! Though I think you might enjoy yourself later tonight more than I do after this!” He managed to reply, hissing silently as a small snap could be faintly heard in the bathroom.

“Let’s hope it does a good job of a first impression then.” She replied back. The guy at the shop said it would fit his type of man…the gentleman type. And the way that Passion had described Dorian it sure seemed like he would be the ideal kind of man to fit the profile…

So why was he having such difficulty trying the damn thing on? Sure it was a little small in size and all, but that’s where the charm would be!

“Actually,” Dorian said as he finally found the answer to her question of earlier, ”This is the tightest thing I’ve ever put on…and I’m a man of clothing looseness! But for you love, you’d know I would’ve wore it then and there.”

“And I…would’ve considered the act.” She replied, closing her eyes. When the bathroom door reopened, Passion was surprised to see her boyfriend in the bathrobe of earlier before she asked him to try it on. She frowned in disappointment.

“Awww, Doriannnn!!! she whined, No surprise for me? Or are you stalling?”

He sighed and just pointed to the bathroom. “ I’ve…changed my mind, at least for now. Besides, I think I might have personally ruined the moment for both of us because well…it’s flushed out in the toilet.”

She gasped in surprise.” No! Did you…break it? How in tarnation did you overstretch it? We didn’t even get started yet!”

He nodded shortly before locking his sad gaze at the ground. “I…I hope you’ll still love me even I couldn’t quite make our first night well…special. Plus, those kinds of…pleasureful security accessories or tight male undergarments aren’t quite my thing…Like I had mentioned before, I’d rather like it if I were in boxers than…you know…. What I just had to try on. Besides, you look great in that corset you’re wearing right now though!” He said, retrying to secure his fate for the night.

Passion blushed at that and raised her leg up in the air at him and posed. ”You really think so?”

“Uh huh.”

“Really, really?”

“Yes!”

“Do you really, truly, deeply, madly think so?“

“You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen in and out of a corset, Passion! That’s my word on it and nobody else’s!” Dorian replied, putting a hand on her mouth softly.” Plus, of course, you’re the only one I’ve seen in and out of a corset, so now I think we’re even, ne?” he whispered huskily in her ear. She giggled and kissed him on the mouth, taking them down on the bed.

“I believe we’ve reached an agreement…” She replied, leaning down to the bed and her hands reaching the floor. She turned over to her front and reached under the bed where she took out a small plastic square-shaped box.

“…But I thought about that situation occurring beforehand and bought us a whole pack of them just in case! I know I look good in a corset but I still want to know how you fit into these cute little knickers…”she smiled sweetly and tossed them over to her sunken boyfriend.

“Be a good boy and try these out for me one more time pwwweeeeeease?” she batted her eyelashes and clasped her hands together in suppliance. To add to the fun, Passion whimpered a little, placing her mouth together in a playful pout and her eyes grew wide with shines in them.

Of course, he thought, the famed and all mighty “puppy dog face” trick. How would anyone resist that is beyond my knowledge. Maybe the fates would be immune to them though. He glanced at them shortly.

Dorian sighed and slunk out of bed. And he thought he had actually gotten a simple chance to just sleep with the woman of his dreams for once…

“Just one more thing before I subdue myself to this torturous task of yours again, he asked, peeking his head out from the bathroom door while holding the object between his hands, These…”male thongs” of yours, they’re cute and all, but…will they fit my waist this time around?”

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Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Spastic story! Rock! Paper! Scissors!

(Here on the Masterpost)

Will thou choose the Rock, The Paper, or The Scissors?
(A.k.a. Rock, Paper, Scissors, a true sport of the underground)

A play written by Suzanne Helen James
for Creative Writing 12
for Jillian Maguire

Ref-
“Ladies and Gentlemen! We are gathered here today to witness one of the greatest, darnest, trickiest, most underappreciated sports known to man! No, it's NOT dodgeball...and it's NOT pinball, either! Come and see, gawk and awe...”

(Two people in hooded capes come on both sides of the stage.)

Ref-
(Raises a fist in the air) “At the strength! The might! The power!”

(The two players launch fists at each other and yell) “Of the Rock!”

Ref-
(Opens his palm) “The flexibility! The stealth! The beauty...”

(The two players opens their palms and yell again with the Ref) “Of the paper!

Ref-
(Takes a deep breath and makes a peace sign) “And last, but not least..”

(All three start chanting) “The switfness! The agility! The sharpness...”

(Only the cloaked players yell)

Of the Scissors!”

(While the two players are dueling with the Rock, the Paper and the Scissors handsigns behind him, the ref makes his introduction.)

Ref-
“Ladies and Gentlemen, children of all ages and venerable seniors...welcome to the first...annual...rock..paper...scissors...Vancouver...district...championshipppp!!!”

(As the crowd is thrown into fervent excitement, the players stop chanting and stomp their feet rhytmically for a few seconds.)

Ref-
”To my right...RRRReigning in tightly with two titles to his belt...Laurence “The Buzzsaw” Fallwelll!!!” (Lights on Larry)

Larry-
(Takes the hood and raises his fist, then opens his palm then makes a peace sign) “The strength of the rock! The lightness of the paper! The swiftness...of the Scissors! Long live scissordom! It triumphs all its opponents, slicing and dicing and hacking through and through!”



Ref-
“Annnnd to my left!! Standing as a newcomer with two fresh and notable losses-(Gets cuts off by an angered Larry)

Larry-
“Why, Referee! I must interrupt and say that first of all, Laurence..is outraged! Why is she here if she burdens the sanctity of the game with not one, but TWO, TWO notable losses! I hold none and thus I earned my place! She is no competition to...Laurence!”

(While Ref is pissed at Larry's pointless intervention, he dismisses that as well. He was just here for the money, and nothing else.)

Ref-
“You know what, dude? I don't really care if the lady won or lost or whatever! I'm just here to make sure that you rock your papers with the right scissors! In fact, I don't really care about these things!”

(Ref growls as he's then suddenly attacked by a wild Larry who flails his arms madly in front of him. Stepping aside to avoid harm, Ref rolls his eyes. Meanwhile, in Larry's distracting, the other contestant had long dissappeared from the stage.)

Larry-
“How dare you call yourself a referee, then! I am even further outraged! Bur to prove you wrong, I shall duel you to teach you how misled you are!You shall learn to not to disgrace this sacred sport...this sport of KINGSSS!!”

(Wanting to finally shut Larry up, the referee steps back up and faces him, pointing behind him, where someone else should've been standing there but wasn't.)

Ref-
“Alright then! you know what? I'm gonna accept your challenge! And the winner...well, the winner's gonna play against...whomever I never named backed there! Deal?”

Larry-
“Yes, it is a deal! Laurence the Buzzsaw and King of all Scissordom, shall prove his might to all of you!”

Ref-
“By the way...I know that your real name..is Larry!”

Larry-
“Ohhh...the outrage from his Majesty Laurence does nothing but rise! Need I remind you that in this sacred arena, the one you call “Larry” does not exist...but you may adress me as your King of Scissordom, Laurence “the Buzzsaw” Fallwell!”

Ref-
“Duude...can't wait till I shut you up and show you how messed you are. Seriously, I'll be doing you a favor by crushing you.”


Larry-
“Enough talk, imposter! draw your fists!”

(Ref counts them off and with their hands in fists, the two yell “rock”, “paper” “scissors”. A silence follows as they examine the result.)

Larry-
“W-what? No! h-how can this be?”

(To Larry's utter shock, his signature trump card the scissors had been defeated...by the Ref's rock.)

Larry-
“...But HOW? A-a rock against my sharp scissors?”

Ref-
“Well Larry, you know what the rules are, huh? After all, the strength of the rock overthrows the agility of your scissors...guess you weren't sharp enough! get it, Larry? Sharp?”

Larry-
“Why...oh why must you taunt me with that name? By golly, this “Larry” person that you speak of does not exist here! Here is where, I, Laurence Fallwell, rules over Scsssordom! In fact..he challenges you again, you...you incompetent cheater!”

Ref-
(Scoffs at Larry's bad use of taunting and decides to look to the audience) “Well dear audience, seems that this championship has taken an interesting turn..for I, your beloved Ref, has been challenged by Larry “the Buzzsaw” Fallwell for another round! Don't forget that when you place your bets, do please give all donations to the, uh...Referee relief fund! Wish me luck!”

(The two once again get into position; retreated fists and legs spread apart. With a swing of his arm, Ref once again counts them off.)

Ref-
“One...”

Larry-
“Two...”

Both-
“Threeee!!!”


(After another chant of a quick , “Rock, Paper, scissors”, the latter emphasized by Larry, the two look at their opposing results; this time, a smirking Laurence has he upper hand as HE has the Rock and Ref has the Scissors.)




Larry-
“Well, well, what's this? A reversal of roles? I see that the mighty referee has lost to the might of the same rock that served him prior!”

Ref-
“Yeah, whatever, Larry. Again, this isn't really something that I'm obssessing with here, unlike you. And of course that could've happened! There's a 1 in 3 chance that either of us could've picked Rock, Paper, Scissors! Dude...basic probability, even I know that!”

(A stung Larry is unnerved by the Ref's smug and quick-witted response, but he doesn't let that affect his game. He is however, really starting to get pissed at the referral to his “other” self.)

Larry-
“Oooh! Such strong impudence! How many times must I tell you, there is no one by the name of Larry! Here is where resides Laurence “The Buzzsaw” Fallwell! And he is not afraid to resort to other items of attack such as the rock or even the paper....”

(Ref snorts at Larry's speech. If he was trying to intimidate him, he has a long way to go. This poor sap really needed a life. And maybe, just maybe, Ref would be the one who would give that to him.)

Ref-
“...You know what, Larry? Here's what I'm gonna suggest; we're gonna do this one more time. This is now the last round between you and me. If I win, you give up your “King Laurence” persona and acknowledge that you are Larry Fallwell, poor n' pathetic geek dude I just happen to know at school and throw spitballs to...If you want, I could even throw in a free offer to hang out with my boys and be cool for a day....eh? Sounds radical or what? Huh? Whaddya say, Larry?”

(...For a moment, Larry is again speechless. Why would Ref, a complete stranger to him, offer him social stature and a chance at being cool all of a sudden? But then...what about all of THIS? All of his titles? But really...was he about to leave all of this behind for a mere chance at not being laughed at or ignored for six hours? Not without a fight he wouldn't!)

Larry-
“H-Ha! For once, I was drawn into your words of foolishness and grandeur! You, my friend, are just a sore loser who wishes to usurp his highness the Buzzsaw from his throne! I see no reason to relinquish my kingly identity! In fact, I do not see a reason why “Larry”, that pitiful alter ego you speak of, should return either...but, to see through to your pathetic jest, know that Laurence is not afraid...to take you down! And yes, he can take you wayyyy downtownnn! So my half of the bargain is this; If you do beat me, I suppose that I will step down as King of Scissordom and abdicate...”

(Just as Ref was about to reply though, Larry points and cuts him off to finish..)

Larry-
“...As I was saying! When I win, and I will, YOU must reliniquish your role as a referee..and you shall be my servant for a month's duration! No if's, and's or but's about it!”

(Now the usual mouthy Ref is speechless after he hears Larry's end of the bargain. A grinning Larry cackles as he has Ref listening.)

Larry-
“Finally got your attention, Referee! And how could I forget! You must, without any exception, MUST adress me as his highness “The Buzzsaw” for that entire time, too! MWAH HAH HAHHH!”

(Visibly shaken by Larry's perverse request, Ref regains composure by defiantly spitting at Larry's feet then making the “Loser” sign towards Larry. This angers Larry, who just lost face.)

Ref-
“You know what, Larry? And yes, your dorkness, that's your name, That stupid little fantasy o' yours ain't gonna happen! You know why? Cause I am gonna CHOP you downnn! Awww yeah, that's right! C-H-O-P! So get ready to get sli-ced, your dorkness Buzzard! Nyuhhh!!!”

(Raging with irritance as Ref taunts him again, Larry ignores the words though his face clearly seems to take it all in. Oh now would revenge be sweet..)

Larry-
”And you say that I am the one at a loss with words, you foolish fiend? I find our own retorts quite silly. Now draw your fists!”

Ref-
“That I shall!”

(Ref gasps and slaps his hands over his mouth as the words echo in his head. Yes, that had just been weird. Yes, he had just sounded like Larry. And that...that was just WRONG in all senses.)

Ref-
” ...Ughhh, duuude! I just sounded like you! Ech! I'm getting corrupted or somethin', man. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I crush you and the quicker you get the help, man. You need it.”

(Even though Ref had just pushed another set of his buttons, Larry can still say he has somewhat won Ref over by what he had just said. Now he was certain that the other's “conversion” would be easier to complete. The game was finally getting to him.)

Larry-
“So, what's this? So you even start to use my own language! This is a small step to victory!”

(An irritated Ref tries to ignore the comment and regain control.)

Ref-
“You know what Larry? You're bout to get your ass chopped right now! In 3! 2! 1!”

With the standard yell of “Rock,” “Paper,”, “Scissors”, the two madmen Ref and Larry face-off again. With every parry of rock, paper, scissors though, they would only get more and more angry at each other.)





Ref-

ROCCCKKKKKKK...!!!”


Larry-

PAPPPERRRR!!!!”

Both-

SCISSSORSSS!! HEAHHHH HAHHH!!!”

(With a final, decisive and desperate war-like yell, both boys then launch their final fists..but once again, they end up tying; like they've been tying for the past 3 times!! But then..)

Melina-
STOPPP! This fighting...will...cease...at once!”

(Immediately, the exhausted boys look at each other and look at Melina, the mysterious other opponent. She steps out from the shadows and comes towards Ref and Larry, then steps in-between them and raises her arms to block one from the other.)

Melina-
“Stop...this...madness! This useless fighting must cease at once, you neanderthal simpletons!”

Larry-
”And who are you to stop us, mysterious cloaked female?”

(Meanwhile, Ref notices that melina is practically doing his job...Because he was supposed to stop the fights...not start them for that matter.)

Ref-
“...Uhhh...I just noticed that this is MY job. I mean, this is MY job! I am the middle man! The mediator! I AM the Ref!”

Larry-
“Actually, you will formerly known as the Ref after I'm done with you.”

Ref-
“Oh your highness! You know what?”


Larry-
“What is it, my future servant?”



Ref-
“I implore his majesty to put a sock in it, would ya? Just put a zipper on your mouth and shut your lid!”

Larry-
“Grrrr!! Why you...! You once again mock his highness the Buzzsaw? Why don't you come here, so I can let you have it, you imposter! You filth! You disgraceful little..”

(Just as the two are about to run into each other, Melina comes again between them and almost knocks them to the ground.)

Melina-
“Oh for God's sake! Why don't I decide the victor? Me? The winner of this last and final challenge...shall fight against me for the title of Vancouver District Champion...and spend an entire hour of quality time..with me!”

(Ref shrugs while Larry actually comptemplates. This did sound ever-so tempting. Would the king of Scissordom take the bait this time?)

Ref-
“Meh. Fine with me. I'm gonna add to that a lil somethin' else, too; I lose, it's Larry versus you, no problem bout that. Though...if I win: the dude HAS to give up his Kingship of dorkdom...annnd! My offer to spend a day in my boys' care and protection, and complete coolness, is still on the table. So yeah. You still up for it, Larry? I'll add in a special, wedgie-free discount if you answer now!”

(Silence reigns for a bit as Larry still thinks about an answer. He still had thoughts about the Ref...and well, Melina was a girl. The only girl he might ever encounter offline. So what was he to lose? The Ref's offer, though, was still questionable. So all he really had to do was put the Ref back in his place and the deal would be done.)

Larry-
“Though the Referee irks me to no end, I am rather curious about the lady under the hood...said lady with whom I shall make the great effort of destroying her...gently! And as for you, you snake! You will not fool me again; and for that, your servitude to his highness shall be extended for much longer than a month! When I will defeat you and trust me, I will...then, you will bow, I tell you! Bow, you foolish incompetent!”

Ref-
“Hoo hoo!! Sooo scared! Ain't gonna happen, Larry! Now get on introducin', lady; so I can put his highness of dorkdom back into place!”

Melina-
”...Alright, then. Ladies and Gentlemen! On our right! Competing for false prestige, lack of social life and a whole other imaginary identity...I present to you, his royal Buzzsaw, Laurence Fallwell of Scissordom!!!”

(A prideful Laurence ignores the bluntness of Melina's introduction and steps forward again, ignoring that Ref is making faces. However, he does give a few claw-shaped hand jabs at Ref when he steps back. Melina once again comes in-between them; and almost smacks Larry in the face.)
Ref-
“Oooh! Touchee, Larry! Touche! Get it?”

Larry-
” Oh really? Let's hear what the lady says about you, you low-life!”

Melina-
“To my left...drawn in from selfish pride, gutless ego, monetary despair and recently seeking every known escape to nerd slavery...I present to you, a member of you, of me, of the common folk! Your greedy, gluttonuous and lecherous everyday male teenager, your refereee!!”

(While Larry bursts in mad laughter, Ref shrugs in indifference. Melina wasn't too far off the point. This was because, unbeknowst to Larry, Melina was the Ref's sister; so she knew him best.)

Melina-
”...And finally! Last, but not least...standing in the center of you all, with in all actuality, 3 titles and only ONE, yes, ONE loss...your lady of Rock, your muse of the Paper and your beauty of the Scissors...the Vancouverrrr....District...Championnnn...heh heh! Well, that's me, of course!”

(Melina takes off her hood and her cape, revealing a beautiful woman. Larry immediately falls to his knees...and Ref shakes his head. How shallow of you, Larry!)

Ref-
”Tut, tut, tut. Yo, Earth to his dorkness! Larry! Get up, dude! Up on your feet! Or are you just gonna give up when you see a girl? I mean, dude! I was ready to rock! By rock, I mean bashing fists together!”

Larry-
“...Ooohh oh ohhh! I concede! I concede! You highnes his Buzzsaw concedes! Oh beautiful Melina, take me as your King now and I give you everything!”

(Melina, however, wasn't so thrilled after having really LOOKED at Larry. She soon becomes a bit creeped by him, and constantly tries to pry him off and get him away from her with kicks when he crawls towards her. Ref, in the background of this spectacle, simply laughs.)

Melina-
“...Oh em gee! How ruuude and unsportsmanlike, your highness! I mean, sure, I'm hot and all that, but that's, like, no reason to suddenly crawl on all fours andddd...eww, eww, ewww!”

Ref-
“Ok, ok! Sis, you gotta finish him. Break him. Apart. It's the only way.”

(After another kick to Larry, Melina looks at her brother. She was a bitch, sure, but she wasn't that cruel. But she wasn't really in any mood to be or do ANYTHING with Larry...)

Melina-
“...But really? Break him? I mean, I can't! Even I'm not THAT evil.”


Ref-
“...Well, how can I put to you this way; you want this?” (points down at Larry, crawling back towards her) “That? For 60 minutes? I mean, Mel, sis...Larry. Fallwell. For. Sixty. Minutes. And 'sides, your brother's gonna be a nerd slave if you don't do something! And my boys won't respect me! A man's gotta have respect! And...And...And if he doesn't have that, forget it, he doesn't have anything!”

(Then, Ref continues to listing off the ways that Larry would try and entertain them during their time together; the endless rolls of the die at their role-playing games...his trying to explain to her the endless plot holes and spoilers of the Star Trek saga and worst of all...act out his outrageous and pitiful original fantasy stories...with unimaginable and ridiculously scantily-clad outfits...for either genders!!! That had finally been enough for the scared Melina...)

Melina-
“EEEEEKKKK!!! I AM NOT gonna end up as your Elven Princess Galabriella or whatever, you hear me? Never, never, never!” (her tone rises.) “Rise, King of Scissordom! The Queen of Rock challenges you to her title!! Choose now or your fate be forever sealed in doom!”

(Ref steps aside and drapes Melina's coat over her shoulders. After another kick to his face but not his ego, a more-determined Larry rolls away and then rises to his feet, wiping off the dirt from his shoulders. This leaves Ref back inpower as the middle man, the mediator, the REFEREE...which is something that he has suddenly taken to heart...But only after having not being the ref for so long.)

Larry-
“Ohhh..I wish us to have more than a mere hour's time together, my beloved!”

Melina-
(shudders) “Yeah, right. And I'm, like, Queen of the Elizabeth or whatever. You'll be soooo rocked and rolled over when I'll be done with you, Larry.”

Larry-
” Oh...you may rock and roll me whenever you like, Milady.”

Ref-
“Ok, ok. Enough with the dirt, Larry. It's getting creepy. Seriously.”

Melina-
”And by the way, I am so underdefeated, just so you know. Woof! I. AM. The super champ.”

Ref-
“And I will ignore that that
“underdefeated” thing...is not a word. You ready, buzzard king?'

Larry-
“Quiet, insolence! Though it pains me to hear that you are related to Milady, you have not the heart and the beauty to melt my heart like she has, so do shut your mouth!”

Ref-
“Dudddeee...again, that thing called a life? I'm gonna give you one whether you like it or not. Especially after sis beats you to a pulp. You ready?”

(Ignoring Larry's rants of how dissapointed he is at his relation to Melina, Ref then counts them off with a grace and a manner that was only worthy of being done in slow motion. “Chariots of Fire” played in the background as Ref raised his arm and Melina and Larry drew their fists.)

Ref-
“One...two...three...! Rock! Paper! Scissors!”

(Just as Melina and Larry are gonna draw their fists, they suddenly freeze. Ref then walks to the front with hands behind him. He adresses the audience for his final speech...)

Ref-
“Well...Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls...venerable, flatulent elders. Behind me stands my really hot sister, Melina. And some poor sap geek dude that I just happen to know by the name of Larry. I throw spitballs at im, he squirms. End of story. On the outside, they are the technical archetypes of “The cheerleader” chick and the “geek” dude. Yes, they are from two different worlds; but they are brought together by an everyday, nondescript game. Said game has many properties; at work...you can play Rock, Paper Scissors to decide who sucks up to the boss for a raise. The winner would probably get fired. But! You...can play it at school! Who knows? If you play your cards right, Jimmy can throw today's winner in the can and tomorrow's winner in the locker! Or when not in gym, Coach Carlson can make the winner run laps! If in politics, the world leaders played Rock, Paper, scissors, wouldn't there be less wars to be fought? Do you hear my plea for peace, my People of the audience?! Yes! Let us not divide each other by social class and rank of coolness and complete, utter coolness; No...instead let us be like the many Larrys or the many Melinas, they who are brought together by power, fame, prestige...and in my case, greedy black money. And whistles. Yes...whistles and money, People of the public!

(By this time, Ref has made this into a very dramatic and personal speech...Might as well liven the crowd for the final words.)

...Yes! In such freedoms, let us not adress the men as “geeks”, “nerds”, “four-eyes”, “nobody” or “douches”... nor should we adress our women as ”hot girls,”, “The REALLY hot babes in the corner” “you foxy ladies” or even, “ those girls who I'd really like to...” (He coughs to stop and compose himself. Getting too involved in the descriptions.) Ahem. But, no, no, NO! (Pause to recollect and breathe.) Here, in the minor games, let us be the proudest...lousiest...most egostitical winners... and let us be the poorest, most pathetic, and the SOREST sulking losers that we can ever be...!!! (Gets back to normal, rousing tempo.) Yes! Let us! And, in all of the fun...you...get...CASH! Money! Moolah! I mean, seriously! How can you say NO to play Rock, Paper, Scissors for wads...wads...and MORE wads of cassssshhhhhh? (Finally, Ref returns to calm.)

And now..without further adieu, I leave you with only one question to ponder;
Wilt thou choosest...The Mighty Rock? The Dense Paper? Or the Swift Scissors?

Choose...now or your fate...will be forever sealed in doom....!!!”

(With that final line, “Eye of the Tiger” plays and Ref bows. Lights then fade to black.)



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